I went to work today and a colleague commented on my jumper. It was a nice comment that a few years ago would have made me feel proud that I had pleased someone else. I cared what people thought about my jumper. In fact I would say that in my 20’s and 30’s I really cared what people thought about my jumper. Of course it wasn’t just my jumper. It was my hair or make-up or if I was funny or seemed intelligent during a conversation. People that know me may feel surprised by this as I was often told how confident I seemed and how together I was. I wasn’t. I just hid my insecurities well.
I have always been a bit self conscious about my figure. It’s not too fat but certainly it’s not too thin. It was always a case of trying to lose weight or speaking to people but not letting them see my “too gummy” smile. I would envy people with slim and boyish figures who could wear the latest fashion or had straight and flicky hair. It never stopped me doing the things I loved, well almost never, but it made me unhappy at times.
I enjoyed a birthday last month. It wasn’t that big birthday. Oh no….that was a few years ago now but it was interesting in that I actually enjoyed it. Up until now I have always hated celebrating the passing of time. Let’s all celebrate getting older? No thanks! But this birthday I did feel different. Different in that I enjoyed it for what it was. A celebration for the fact I’m loved and appreciated by my family and friends. I feel totally different to the person I was a decade ago. If I could talk to myself 10 years ago this is what I would tell myself.
- Don’t care about what people think about your jumper…or your hair….or whether people find you interesting. It’s their issue if they don’t like you. Be yourself and own it!
- Some people are not very nice and are not your friends even if you are friendly towards them. That’s ok too.
- Your family is more important than any job. Emails can wait.
- Wear what you want because you like it and don’t worry if magazines or other people tell you it’s not in fashion.
- Everybody ages. Deal with it.
- Your decisions are correct because they are yours.
- Toddlers do grow up!
- You will have a life again…
- Those people who you thought were perfect are not and they probably worry about their jumper too.
- You will know more people, have less friends but you will have quality friendships.
- You will feel less guilty for not being a perfect parent because you realise that there’s no such thing.
- Enjoy life for what you have, not for what you think you should have.
So, there it is… Feeling fab at forty something really is a thing. Let me leave you with a quote from Coco Chanel,
“I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.”
Enjoy your weekend!
OH THE JOYS OF LIVING IN THE OLD HOUSE IN THE SHIRES.