Why is it that kids books always follow a rhyme?

Especially when you’re trying to secretly skip a line…

And the smart kid notices EVERY SINGLE TIME….

And all you can think about is the chilled bottle of wine.

As the glass is waiting for you downstairs.


It’s the Gruffalo, Chocolate Moose or A Squash and a Squeeze,

Come on kid, do we have to? One more page, please?

Mummy needs to go to sleep, she’s practically on her knees!

It’s definitely time to go to sleep. Everyone agrees…

As the glass is waiting for you downstairs.


Kid two is finally sound asleep…really, thank the Lord!

Curled around his teddy, lego car and a plastic sword.

Kid one is playing up…kicking out at her headboard

But you are getting cross as the wine is already poured

As the glass is waiting for you downstairs.


It’s Dads turn now. Let’s see what he can do,

I want a drink, Just one more kiss. Dad, I need a poo!

Daddy and kid one are shrieking now… What a hullabaloo!

I’m coming up….bloody hell! Why are you playing king-fu??

As the glass is waiting for you downstairs.


Well I give up. That’s it, I’ve had enough for one night!

You’ve had a wee, here’s a drink.  I’ve put on your nightlight.

Now go to sleep, mummy’s tired. You’ll be quite alright.

I love you to the moon and back but frankly, not tonight…

As the glass is still waiting for me downstairs.

3 Little Buttons
Two Tiny Hands
The Tale of Mummyhood