Words of Wisdom from Experienced Moms and Dads.

A Guest Post by Claire Adams

I was approached by a fellow blogger and writer, Claire to see if she could write a post for me. Claire is personal and professional development expert who believes that a positive attitude is one of the keys to success. You can find her online writing and giving tips about lifestyle and development as a regular contributor at highstylife.com.
I am thrilled to introduce Claire’s post for my readers and hope you love it as much as I do!

Words of Wisdom from Experienced Moms and Dads
We live in the age of the Internet, parenting books, chat rooms, classes, information wells only a few clicks away, but as disturbingly contradictory or simply different as some of it may be, new parents and parents-to-be yearn for knowledge. And it makes sense – your thirst is driven by the desire to be the best parent you could possibly be, without sacrificing your relationships or neglecting your professional development.
However, few things related to parenting are black and white. It’s a beautiful journey, the adventure of being a parent, but it makes for a stressful one on those who decide to embark on it in this day and age. And as such, you could use some real-life advice from moms and dads who’ve been in your shoes and can help you prepare and enjoy as much as possible.

Let go of perfectionism

Whether it’s a messy t-shirt, a room filled with toys, or the fact that you’re wearing a puke-covered hoodie after 36 sleepless hours – you soon realize that the reality of parenting doesn’t even resemble those dreamy ideals. On the contrary, your baby will disrupt your lives beyond recognition, both in marvelous and less marvelous ways.
Your priorities will change, and so will your sleeping schedule, and the notion of what passes for “presentable” will alter. As they grow up, you will also realize that “she will never throw tantrums in public” or “he will never get hooked on watching TV” are also far-fetched, as every child has their own way of perceiving the world. The best thing you can do for your child’s peace of mind, as well as your own, is to abandon any perfectionist notion you’ve had thus far.

Letting go of the ch
Let go of Perfectonism

Go with Frank

Mr. Frank Sinatra has spoken many a wise word through his music, but one universal truth that affects parents as much as it does every other aspect of your identity would be simply doing things your own way. That doesn’t mean rejecting any piece of advice you hear (solicited or otherwise), but still being able to have your own opinion in the chaos of other parents’ voices.
Every child is different, and while one parent will successfully potty-train their youngster with the help of training-pants, another might prefer to try a reward system. This extends to all behavioral patterns in life, so listening to others can sometimes point you in the right direction, while sharpening your own parenting “gut feeling” is equally important. No parent knows you own child like you do.

Go with Frank!

Finance wisely

On a more practical, forward-thinking note, parenting could use some financial structure that will ensure your own, as well as your children’s security later in life. While a majority of employers often carry a family friendly health plan that includes various types of insurance, new parents could also think about writing their will, and a college fund that can be re-purposed if needed.
Keeping an eye on your retirement policy and other related plans for the future may seem over the top while you have a baby to care for, but the sooner you reach for the reins, the safer you’ll be if any problems crop up. The same goes for choosing the right guardian for your kids and setting up a contingent trust that allows you a reasonable amount of control over the funds when your kids finally come of age.

Invest ahead

Some kids learn fairly quickly and adapt easily to new environments, both socially and cognitively, while others struggle with different challenges. As parents, we can sometimes be prone to misjudging our kids’ abilities, either perceiving them as flawless, or underestimating their potential. In both scenarios, it may seem impossible to relinquish some of our parental power over to teachers, psychologists and other professionals, but it could be necessary for the sake of their success later in life.
Sometimes that means tackling a speech impediment early on, or ensuring tailored high school tutoring for improving their performance in those subjects that are particularly problematic. Either way, there is no shame in recognizing a problem and handling it with the help of professionals.

Invest ahead

Don’t forget you

As soon as you become a parent, your children occupy almost your every thought. At first, this may serve as a mechanism to adapt to your new role as a parent, or anticipate and solve problems along the way. But if you continue neglecting your own needs, and pushing aside your identity, your parenting enthusiasm will also dwindle.
New moms and dads should work on learning to remember their preferences, nurturing their relationship and tending to their needs. As Elizabeth Silk, a New York psychotherapist working with moms put it wisely: “The happier you are, the better parent you will be.”

This is a Guest Post by Claire Adams.
Wise words from experienced mums and dads. Oldhouseintheshires. #parenting

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22 Comments

  • I agree with everything written here, we can only ever do what we think is correct as a parent, looking back I made loads of mistakes, but I did what I thought was the correct thing at the time #mudpiefriday@_karendennis

  • Such a fabulous read. So many truths here. Hindsight is such a wonderful thing. As parents of an only child, we only get to make the mistakes once. However, I’m very mindful of all of these things and we do what we do, in the best way we can. Learning every day and laughing when the bad times pass. Frank Sinatra will always be an inspiration. Thank you for such a lovely post Claire and for sharing it here with us at #tweensteensbeyond, Nicky x

  • The words that struck a chord with me the most are that we are all different and everyone has a different way of parenting. The great thing about blogging is the opportunity to share our experiences and learn from others but at the end of the day we all do what we think is right for us, our family and our children as individuals. Learning on the job has never been so pertinent than through the parenting journey. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Claire. #TweensTeensBeyond

  • Another fabulous read from Claire – I’m publishing some of her work next week too. She is so right – the part about embracing the mess more is definitely advice I need to take. I don’t deal well with mess!
    Thanks for linking to #coolmumclub

  • Great advice here. I only wish that I had relied on my instinct a little more earlier on in my motherhood journey. It’s really only now that they are teens that I am going with what I ‘feel’ is right. Really enjoyed reading this. Thanks so much for sharing with us at #TweensTeensBeyond

  • These go beyond the usual tips and offer really important advice, very well written post! #thesatsesh

  • So much truth in what is written here. There is no such thing as perfect parenting and in all we often forget about ourselves when it comes to raising kids. Great post.#DreamTeam

  • #thesatsesh sound advice, particularly love the Frank quote – he was a wise man. I think a day by day approach is good, so it was nice to be reminded about the future. I wonder if my generation will retire?

  • Loving all the positivity from your guest poster. I think if anything, letting go of being perfect is an absolute must know for all new parents. It’s so easy to get carried away by watching the celebrities, adverts and other people who you think the grass is greener for. In Elsa’s words… let it go 🙂 Thank you for joining us for the #dreamteam x

  • popping back to say thank you for also sharing this with me at #mg
    Again such great advice!

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