5 Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Children

Every parent’s main desire is to have a healthy and happy child. An important part of that health and happiness is the child’s emotional intelligence, which allows them to deal with their own feelings, while understanding how other people feel. But, what can you do to help your child develop their emotional intelligence? Here are some ideas.

1 View negative emotions as an opportunity to grow

Children tend to get emotional over things that are a huge deal to them, but seem irrelevant to you. They might even act out and have a real emotional outburst. The important thing is not to dismiss their emotions, even when they are negative. Don’t scold or punish them for getting emotional. Remember that they don’t really know how to control their emotions and it’s up to you to teach them, so use these negative emotions to help them learn something and grow from them. Tell them that it’s normal they’re frustrated and that you understand their anger over a toy they can’t have or a child that doesn’t want to play with them. If you tell them that what they’re feeling is bad and wrong, they’ll think that they’re the ones who are bad and wrong, so, instead, show compassion and once the child calms down, talk about how they felt and what they can do to make themselves feel better next time they feel that way.

5 ways to raise emotionally intelligent children. Oldhouseintheshires. #parenting

2 Talk to your child

You should always try being aware of how your child feels. If you notice they’re sad or angry and you don’t know why, talk to them and try to find out. They might not always be upfront with you, sometimes because they don’t feel like sharing, but mostly because they might not know how to express their feelings through words. Teach them how to label and name their feelings, tell them it’s ok to feel anything that they feel, and tell them it happens to everybody, you included. If your child doesn’t open up, try playing with them. They will sometimes communicate with you through fantasy play, assigning their toys the feelings and emotions they feel. If they tell you a doll is sad when it can’t visit its friends, you’ll know what the problem is and how to proceed in solving it.

3 Set a good example

If you express your emotions verbally, clearly and calmly to your child, they’ll accept that as normal behavior and will copy it. By treating other people with respect and understanding, without aggression and rage, you show your child how they should behave with people surrounding them. Show them how they can contribute to their community by setting them an example. Support noble causes as a family, volunteer, donate, collect money for some important cause or at least find a way to inform those in need of available financial aid or support in the form of girls scholarships. This will help them grow into useful and helpful members of their community and become aware of the social issues, like poverty, famine or the importance of education.

5 ways to raise emotionally intelligent children. Oldhouseintheshires. #parenting

4 Show empathy

When your child talks to you, listen to them, validate their emotions, and mirror them by saying, for example, that you understand how frustrating and irritating it is when you can’t win at something, because you sometimes feel the same. Then proceed explaining that winning isn’t the only important thing, and that every time they play a game, even when they lose, they get better at it. Plus, there’s fun in playing a game, no matter who the winner is. Accept all your child’s emotions and name each of them. If you dismiss them or disapprove of them, the child will think that it’s unacceptable or shameful to feel negative emotions, which might lead to nightmares or even aggressive behavior. When they see that you understand what they’re feeling and that their emotions are normal, they’ll feel relieved and will more likely discuss any situation they find themselves in and how to change things for the better.

5 Let them play

By playing with their friends, children get to practice peer to peer interaction and various social skills which can help them develop their emotional intelligence. Providing your child with opportunities for an imaginative and unstructured play with other children their age will help improve their communication skills, as well as teach them how to resolve conflicts or solve problems on their own. Find time for them to play, since it’s no less important than doing their homework or going to their soccer practice.

Being a parent might be the hardest job you’ve ever had to do, but it’s also the most rewarding one, so help your child become the best version of themselves – bright, self-confident and a good person.

This is a guest post by Claire Adams.

5 ways to raise emotionally intelligent children. Oldhouseintheshires. #parenting

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18 Comments

  • Teaching emotions can be difficult unless you teach the emotions as they are being felt. The best way is by talking about them after outbursts or breakdowns. But it’s also good to talk about the positive ones!

  • for me learning emotion is called art because child can learn and observer those emotions when they meet with different person in life. So basically it comes naturally.

  • I do all of these things with my boys though I will admit I didn’t always do them. I didn’t because I didn’t have the right tools in my tool box of life skills to make this happen but I learned how. It’s not always easy to be mindful of our kids feelings and outbursts, especially when I’ve had a long day and sometimes it takes great effort but I think this is super important for our children’s well being not just as children but for the rest of their lives. #GlobalBlogging
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    • So agree Michelle. It can be tough when our own lives are going full speed.

  • I always try and talk to my daughter after an outburst to try and find out why but it can be really tough. Sometimes she’s not even really sure and I do worry that hormones are already coming into play…she’s still only young though! I think as long as the door to talking is always open it really helps. I struggle though, I’m not calm or patient. #BloggersBest

  • Sound advice. I fall down on the teaching by example bit: being prone to irritation when rattled!!! I’m still trying though #BlogClubUK

    • I’m sure you’re calm and present when it matters. Xx

  • Thank you for this post. Sometimes I find it really tough to stop and to think about the emotional response to outbursts when we are invariably late and the school bell is ringing. I know it is something I need to focus on more. Cygnet and I have got into the habit of having a ‘chat’ in the evenings before he goes to bed. Invariably this ends up being a conversation about what he did at school and nursery and what I did at work. This is probably an opportunity for us to talk about how we felt during the day. Thanks! Pen x #coolmumclub

    • That sounds like the perfect end to any day! x

  • I think that talking with your children is the key to is all. From a young age I talked so much with my daughter about things and now she is five it is really paying off as she is growing into a very emotionally intelligent little girl. Thanks for linking this up with #coolmumclub some great tips here.

  • I think talking to your children is one of the most important things you can do. We always have Sunday lunch / dinner with our family, daughter, grandkids, son in law, it’s lovely to be able to all sit round the table once a week and share what’s be happening. #BloggerClubUk

    • I totally agree Francesca. Thank you for stopping by my blog and taking the time to comment. X

    • Thank you Sarah. I will take a look. 😊

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