I have two teenagers; a daughter who is now 18 and a son who is 16. Having a daughter and son going through their teenage years has been a joy to be honest. Yes, there have been tough times too as adolescence can be a roller coaster for the whole family but I have loved this stage in my children’s lives almost as much as their pre-school years. Being a primary school teacher, I have known hundreds of primary aged children so felt like I knew what I was doing at that stage! However, having teenagers was always going to be a new parenting challenge for me. My teenagers and I have a great relationship so I thought I would share with you the 5 reasons why your teenage son needs his mum right now.
Your son needs boundaries
Even though your son may be taller than you or stronger than you, he still needs boundaries. He needs to know that it’s ok to get angry but not ok to get physical with you or his siblings. He may want to lash out in frustration at times but he needs to know that his emotions must not lead to violence. Teenagers feel rage just like toddlers but they are bigger and stronger and will hurt if they kick off. It’s important that those rules that were put into place when they were young are still there as they grow.
You son needs their freedom.
Within those boundaries, your son need to be able to challenge his teenage brain and try loads of new things. He needs to be able to meet his friends independently on a Saturday or go to the park without a parent lurking. Boys need to be trusted to remember their boundaries! This can be tricky for parents but is vitally important so that your son knows that you trust him. The balance of boundaries and freedom is difficult to negotiate as every teenage wants more freedom whilst parents want less! Go with what feels right for your family even though this may not be the same as another family.
Your son needs to communicate.
I know that many teenagers don’t talk to their parents but all parents need to continue to talk to their children when they become teenagers. In fact, the teenage years are when you need to talk to your children more! Encourage frank chats. Personally, I always talk to my teenagers about important things whilst in the car. They can’t escape from the car!
Your son needs forgiveness.
Teenagers will get things wrong. They may look grown but they’re not so don’t treat them as adults. The teenage brain loves danger and risk so your son will push those boundaries or do things that are stupid. That’s ok and totally normal. Forgive him for forgetting his football boots for the fifth time (just let him deal with the consequences rather than take his football boots into school). Forgive him if he kicks off and gets angry at you. Try to speak kindly to him in the mornings when he’s feeling grumpy, he will notice.
Your son needs humour.
Teenagers are great fun and I have loved this stage. There’s always the stories and impressions about the ‘weird’ teacher at school or their reactions about Love Island or X Factor. Suddenly, they go past the stage where they drone on about cars,trains or football players and become more interested in sharing social humour. Oh ok, they do occasionally drone on about rugby leagues or some music band that you’ve never heard of but mostly, they are fun! I love that my son has ‘discovered’ Oasis and thinks I’m slightly cool for liking them too. He’s good company and fun to be around.
Have a great day!
A blog about my life in The Old House, a mum to teenagers, a primary school teacher and my passion for gardening.